Why do I feel out of control around food?

You are definitely not alone in this. Speaking from someone who has lived through this since high school, I can tell you binging happens for a very specific reason, and healing is possible.

The restrict and overeat cycle

So many women try to be good all the time, restricting, and then go all out and eat more than they'd like. Restriction makes the brain think there isn't enough, so it pulls you to overeat while food is available.

I used to restrict to manage symptoms and weight, which led to binging. So I understand the pull towards food and how powerful it is.

Feeling in control again

What you're experiencing makes complete sense, and it's still fixable. Imagine if in 6–8 weeks you had all of this under control and weren't in this vicious cycle anymore. It's possible. You just need to address what's causing it, and talking about food or more diets isn't it.